St Peter And St Paul's Church

Let’s talk about a church that’s not your average Sunday spot. St Peter and St Paul’s Church isn’t just old—it’s a character. Built in the 14th century, it’s got stories to tell.

The Ghost in the Spire

First, the spire is crooked. Like, noticeably tilted. Locals swear a drunken builder messed up the foundations.

But here’s the kicker: no one knows for sure. The official story? A lightning strike in 1717 twisted it. I prefer the drunk builder theory. It’s way more fun.

Bats in the Belfry (Literally)

They have bats. Actual, honest-to-goodness bats. The church even installed special bat-friendly windows so the little guys can flap in and out.

Imagine sitting in a pew and seeing a tiny shadow zoom past the altar. The vicar once joked the bats sing louder than the choir. I believe it.

The Bell That Rings Backwards

One of their bells is famous. It’s called "Old Peter," and it rings in a backward pattern. No one knows exactly why—some say it’s a medieval prank.

When it tolls, it sounds like a drunk robot hiccuping. It’s weird, wonderful, and totally unique. You can’t hear it without smiling.

The Toilet That’s a Historic Monument

Ready for a shock? Their loo is listed. Yes, the bathroom. It’s a 19th-century addition with original cast-iron cisterns.

St Peters And Pauls Church at Alvera Rollins blog

It’s probably the only working toilet in England with a heritage plaque. I bet they have a "don’t flush twice" sign out of respect for history.

The "Vampire" Gravestone

In the graveyard, there’s a slab with a skull and crossbones. But it’s not for pirates. It was a warning to grave robbers—or maybe vampires.

One local legend says a woman buried there was accused of being a vampire. The church put iron bars over her grave. Just in case she got peckish.

The Organ That Farts

The church organ is ancient. When it plays low notes, it makes a rumbling fart sound. The organist calls it "character."

During a wedding once, the note hit just as the groom said "I do." The whole congregation lost it. You can still see the bride’s laugh lines.

The Secret Door to Nowhere

Inside, there’s a door. It opens to a brick wall. Why? No one remembers. It’s a medieval mystery.

Patrick Comerford: Saint Peter and Saint Paul, a parish church in

Some say it led to a hidden tunnel for priests to escape. Others say it was a broom closet that got walled up. I’m betting on the broom closet—it’s more ridiculous.

The "Holy" Hole in the Floor

There’s a small hole in the stone floor near the altar. It’s called a squint. It’s for monks who couldn’t see the priest.

But here’s the funny part: it’s shaped like a keyhole. So you can spy on the sermon from the floor. Imagine being so bored you literally look through a hole in the ground.

Why You Should Visit

St Peter and St Paul’s is wonky, weird, and wonderful. It doesn’t take itself seriously. The bats don’t care, the bell hiccups, and the toilet is a celebrity.

Go for the crooked spire. Stay for the vampire gravestone. And definitely use the loo. You’ll be peeing in history.

This church proves that the best things in life are a little broken. And maybe a little haunted. Bring a sense of humor.