V & P Collins Farm Shop

So, picture this: you’re driving through the rolling hills of the English countryside, your stomach growling like a bear who missed a memo about hibernation. You could stop at a petrol station for a sad, shrink-wrapped sandwich, but your soul—and your taste buds—deserve better. That’s where V & P Collins Farm Shop enters the picture like a hero in a gingham apron.

Welcome to the Farm Shop That Thinks It’s a Michelin Star Restaurant

First off, this isn’t your granny’s dusty corner shop. V & P Collins is a working farm that doubles as a gloriously chaotic temple of excessive deliciousness. You think you’re just popping in for a pint of milk? Think again. You’ll walk out with a wedge of stilton that could break a table, a free-range chicken that probably had a better life than you, and a homemade pork pie that will make you weep with joy.

Here’s a shocking fact: the farm has been in the Collins family for over a century. That’s longer than most of us have kept a houseplant alive. They know their mud, their cows, and their plums with a level of intimacy that borders on obsessive. And honestly? We’re here for it.

The Meat Counter: Where Your Diet Goes to Die (Happily)

Let’s talk about the meat. Oh, the meat. It’s so fresh, the cows are still blushing. Their beef is reared right there on the farm, meaning your Sunday roast was probably mooing last Tuesday. That’s farm-to-table with a vengeance. You want a sirloin steak that’s been massaged, fed a diet of organic whispers, and aged longer than your favorite cheese? They’ve got it.

Surprising fact? They also sell their own rare-breed pork, including Gloucester Old Spots—pigs with such distinct personalities you’ll feel guilty eating their cousin. Almost guilty. The bacon is worth the emotional turmoil.

V&P Collins – Grown In England

The Pie Game: Stronger Than Your Coffee

Now, brace yourself for the pastry situation. V & P Collins makes pies so good, they should have their own fan club. The steak and ale pie? It has a golden, buttery crust that flakes like a bad ex’s excuse. And the filling is so rich, you’ll wonder if they’ve hired a culinary wizard in the back room. Spoiler: it’s just a very determined woman named Janet who’s been perfecting the recipe since 1987.

Fun fact that will blow your mind: they sell over 500 pies a week during peak season. That’s enough pastry to wrap a small car. And don’t even get me started on the sausage rolls—they’re basically edible happiness shaped like a cylinder.

V & P Collins Farm Shop, Bromham, Wiltshire. | One of our di… | Flickr

Don’t Skip the Veg and the Jam

You’d think a farm shop would phone in the vegetables, right? Wrong. Their carrots are so sweet, you’ll swear they were glazed with honey. The potatoes are so buttery before you even butter them that it feels like a miracle. And the seasonal fruit? In late summer, you can buy a punnet of plums so ripe that one bite will make you forget every other fruit you’ve ever known.

And then there’s the jam section. It’s a psychedelic wall of preserves—rhubarb and ginger, strawberry with a hint of vanilla, even a “hedgerow jelly” that tastes like a British woodland had a party in a jar. I bought three jars last time. I’m not proud. I’m sticky.

The Verdict: Go. Now. Bring a Big Bag.

V & P Collins Farm Shop is not just a shop; it’s a happy place where calories don’t count and cows are politely thanked for their service. Whether you’re after a quick treat or a full-blown feast, this place will ruin you for supermarket shopping forever. Just be warned: you might drive home with a free-range egg in your pocket and a pie on your lap, wondering how your life got so wonderfully weird.