Ye Olde Plough House Brentwood Essex
Ye Olde Plough House: Brentwood’s Cheeky Little Time Machine Let’s be honest—most pubs that call themselves “Ye Olde” anything are just tourist traps with a fake fireplace and...
Ye Olde Plough House: Brentwood’s Cheeky Little Time Machine
Let’s be honest—most pubs that call themselves “Ye Olde” anything are just tourist traps with a fake fireplace and a landlord who charges £8 for a bag of crisps. But Ye Olde Plough House in Brentwood, Essex? This place is the real deal. It’s so old, it probably served mead to a monk who was grumpy about his sandals.
Dating back to the 15th century, this pub started life as a farmhouse—back when “farmhouse” meant a muddy hut where you kept your pigs indoors. It sits on the A128, a road that was once a Roman path. Imagine Roman soldiers marching past, probably stopping for a cheeky pint of vinegar before pillaging a rival tribe. History, mate!
Now, here’s a jaw-dropper: during the English Civil War, the pub was allegedly used as a Royalist hideout. That’s right, while Cromwell’s boys were busting statues, some bloke was hiding in a cupboard here, sipping ale and praying his mustache didn’t give him away. If those walls could talk, they’d whisper: “Don’t sit on that stool—it’s wobbly.”
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The Ghost, the Chef, and the Unhinged Toilet
Every old pub worth its salt has a ghost story, and Ye Olde Plough House doesn’t disappoint. Staff swear they’ve seen a mischievous spirit that loves moving glasses around. Not exactly a poltergeist of terror—more like a spectral barman who’s tidying up. “Where’s my pint?” “Sorry mate, the ghost put it in the cellar.”
The food, by the way, is suspiciously not medieval. You won’t find boiled rat or “mutton with a side of scurvy.” Instead, they serve proper pub grub: steak and ale pie, fish and chips, and a Sunday roast that’s so good it should be illegal. One reviewer called it “the best roast in Essex,” which is like winning an Oscar for “Best Performance in a County.”
But here’s the funniest fact: the pub has a AA Rosette for its food. Yes, the same organization that rates your car’s breakdown cover also decides if your gravy is epic. Who knew? I bet the ghost still complains about the portion sizes.
Weddings at Ye Olde Plough House
The “Ha-Ha” and the Actual LOLs
Outside, the pub has a “ha-ha” wall—a sunken fence designed to keep cattle in without ruining your view. It’s basically 18th-century interior design where the joke is on the cow. “Ha-ha, you can’t get me, Bessie!” The pub’s beer garden is massive, perfect for summer afternoons when you want to argue about cricket while a dog steals your sausage roll.
Brentwood locals have a soft spot for this joint. It’s not a shiny gastropub with ironic lightbulbs. It’s lace curtains, real log fires, and a carpet that’s seen the 1970s, the 1980s, and your uncle’s questionable fashion choices. One regular told me, “You come here for the history, you stay because the pint is cheap and nobody judges you for eating three desserts.”
The Verdict: A Pub That Earns Its “Ye Olde”
If you’re cruising through Essex, skip the chain pubs with fake hay bales and neon signs. Pull into Ye Olde Plough House. Order a pint of Greene King IPA. Park yourself by the fire. Imagine a world where cars don’t exist, Wi-Fi is a wizard’s spell, and your only worry is whether the ghost nicked your second sausage.
Is it the best pub in Britain? I don’t know. But it’s definitely the best pub in Brentwood to have survived the plague, the Civil War, and a 1992 karaoke night that still haunts the landlord. Get down there. The ghost is waiting. He wants a chat about your parking.
