How To Get A 5 On Apes

So, you’ve signed up for AP Environmental Science, or as we cool kids call it, APES. You’re probably picturing yourself saving a baby sea turtle while a college admissions officer weeps with joy. That will not happen. What will happen is you staring at a graph about nitrogen cycles until your eyes bleed. But fear not, intrepid eco-warrior! Getting a 5 on this exam is less about hugging trees and more about learning to hug the test without suffocating it.

First, Memorize the Big Four: Earth, Water, Fire, and… People?

The entire APES exam is basically a soap opera starring four main characters: The Lithosphere (rocks), the Hydrosphere (water), the Atmosphere (air), and the Anthropocene (us, the messy humans). You need to know how they cheat on each other. For example, did you know that volcanoes release more carbon dioxide than all the cars in the world combined? That’s a surprising fact you can whip out at parties to look like a genius. Just don't forget that humans are the ones building the roads those cars drive on.

Get Friendly with “But…” and “Because…”

Do not just say “pollution is bad.” That’s a boring sentence and gets a 1. Instead, say: “Dumping fertilizer in a river is bad because it causes algae to eat all the oxygen, but we can fix it by planting buffer strips.” See what you did there? You just used the magic words “but” and “because.” These are your BFFs on the FRQ section. They turn a whiny complaint into a dazzling display of scientific reasoning.

Become a Math Wizard (or at Least a Math Intern)

Yes, you have to do math. No, it’s not calculus. It’s mostly “5,000 fish times 0.2 equals 1,000 dead fish.” The College Board loves a good percentage. Here’s the secret: Show every single step. When you divide 10 by 4, write “10÷4 = 2.5.” Then circle it. Then throw confetti. They give partial credit, so your messy arithmetic looks like noble struggle. And always, always label your units. “Million kilowatt-hours per year” is a beautiful phrase.

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Deploy the “Rule of 70” Like a Party Trick

This is the coolest math thing you’ll learn. To find out how long something takes to double, just divide 70 by the growth rate (as a percentage). A population growing at 10% per year doubles in 7 years. Say that out loud. Seven years. You just predicted the future. Use this on the exam and high-five your test booklet. It’s basically a cheat code.

Embrace the Weirdness of Case Studies

You need to know the stories. Like the Love Canal disaster—where a town was built on a toxic waste dump. Or the time a lake in Ohio caught on fire (that’s the Cuyahoga River fire). These stories stick. When you write about the Clean Water Act, just casually drop a “Remember when a river was literally a match? That’s why we have this law.” It makes you sound like a history professor who also fights crime.

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And Finally, Pretend You’re in a Cult

The last week before the exam, chant these three acronyms: NPP, GPP, TFR, NIR, GDP, and DDT. Say them in the shower. Draw a food web on your mirror. The test is a game of vocabulary bingo. The more terms you can fit into a sentence like “High NPP in the rainforest leads to high biodiversity, but low NPP in the desert does not,” the more points you score. Just don’t start wearing a lab coat to bed. That’s a step too far.

Go forth. Crush the FRQ. Save the planet statistically. You got this.