Quincy Police Blotter

So, you’ve heard of the Quincy Police Blotter, right? It’s that little slice of life—or wild life—that makes you grateful for your boring Tuesday. Think of it not as a crime report, but as Quincy’s own reality TV show, with each entry more absurd than the last.

This week, we learned that a man reportedly called 911 because his pizza was cold. Yes, you read that correctly. While I appreciate his commitment to customer service, I think the proper channel is a strongly worded Yelp review, not a SWAT team. And then there was the case of the irate squirrel—yes, a squirrel—that chased three joggers through Merrymount Park. Apparently, it had a grudge. (Note to self: never make eye contact with a squirrel holding an acorn).

But it’s not all fun and furry foes. The blotter also records the heartwarming chaos of everyday neighbors. Like the woman who reported her garden gnomes “stolen,” only to find them moved two inches as a prank by her husband. Or the guy who locked his keys in his car—with the engine running—and then tried to teach his dog to press the unlock button through the window. Spoiler: the dog just barked and demanded a treat.

What makes the Quincy Police Blotter so compelling is its unfiltered honesty. It reminds us that life is messy, silly, and often just a little bit ridiculous. We’re all just trying our best, whether that’s fighting off rogue wildlife or mastering the art of not calling the cops over lukewarm pepperoni.

So next time you scroll through the blotter, smile. You are part of a community that turns the mundane into the memorable. And if nothing else, remember: you’re never having a worse day than the guy who had to explain to an officer why a raccoon is in his bathtub. Here’s to you, Quincy. Keep it weird, and keep it wonderful.